Sarah
New Member
Second day after surgery. Currently recovering at UC Davis.
Posts: 18 
|
Post by Sarah on Aug 26, 2013 15:17:13 GMT -7
Devastated to report that Molly succumbed to myelomalacia (spinal cord death) after her surgery last week. :'(Her spinal cord was severely bruised because of the herniated disk, and paralysis had begun to set in throughout her body. I was forced to put her down two days ago to avoid her going through any further suffering as the paralysis reached her lungs. I began to give myself a HUGE guilt trip about not taking Molly in to get surgery earlier (it was purely financial). The doctor explained, however, that the myelomalacia likely began very, very early on and it is something that cannot be stopped. My other dog, Ramsay, and I visited Molly at UC Davis while she was in recovery. We were able to wrap her in a blanket and take her outside so we could all sit on the grass in the sun and fresh air. She went from being able to prop herself up one day, to only being able to lay on her side the next day, to barely being able to raise her head the day after that. I knew then that it was time to let her go. The three of us curled up together outside on the grass at UC Davis while the doctor put her to sleep forever.  Molly was barely present at that point, so she just gently went to sleep. I am utterly devastated and my heart has broken into a million pieces. Sincere and indebted thanks to all of you who showed your support and immeasurable advice. I cannot imagine how I will ever get over this loss. I feel so blessed to have shared six years on earth with such a sweet, gentle, innocent little soul.  |
|
Sabrina
Helpful Member 
My Charley-dog, a Dodger'sList grad enjoying life!
Posts: 471
|
Post by Sabrina on Aug 26, 2013 16:01:06 GMT -7
Sarah, I am so sorry to hear this. ))Hugs(( What a caring vet to help you make Molly's passing peaceful. So glad the vet explained things to you - you have nothing to feel guilty about. You were a wonderful guardian to Molly. On another thread I saw a link to a new Facebook page for those who have lost dogs to myelomalacia www.facebook.com/groups/381150025318109/ Even if you don't feel like looking at it now, maybe it will be a help to you at some point in your grieving process. Our beloved dogs are never with us long enough. Don't feel like you have to "get over" anything - Molly's memory will always be with you, and over time it won't hurt so much and you'll be able to dwell on all the happy memories you have of her. Take care of yourself and your Ramsay. ))Hugs(( - Sabrina |
|
PaulaM
Moderator. 
Member since 2007: surgery, conservative . Montana, USA
Posts: 19,932
Member is Online
|
Post by PaulaM on Aug 26, 2013 16:16:49 GMT -7
Sarah, first know there is no guilt you should carry about Myelomalacia. This disease can follow anytime there is spinal cord injury from a car accident, from a disc problem whether conservative or surgery. The cause of M or how it progresses is still unknown and that is why research is going on at Purdue Univ. www.dodgerslist.com/literature/Myelomalacia.pdf You can feel good that you promptly did the right thing to release her from a painful ending before the loss of breathing function diminished as the cord continued to die. She could feel the warmth of your body and your love as you helped her to the rainbow bridge. Molly now resides in a safe, warm and loving place… your heart. Overtime you learn to cope with her not being at your side as your mind eventually dwells on the lovely times. She could make you laugh and she will again. Choosing some sort of action can help during these grieving days. On behalf of Molly a legacy of helping to educate about IVDD. Ask Linda to send you a free packet for your vet and business sized cards to hand out wherever you see owners of IVDD prone breeds. www.dodgerslist.com/literature/litorder.htmThere is a lovely website called the Dachshund Memorial Garden where you can pay tribute and even place a photo. Many touching poems to help in this time of grief: www.dachshundmemorialgarden.comWarmest of ((hugs)) to you and Godspeed sweet Molly. |
|
Marjorie
Moderator~ 
Member since 2011. Surgery & Conservative
Posts: 5,724
|
Post by Marjorie on Aug 26, 2013 16:27:17 GMT -7
I'm so very sorry to hear about Molly, Sarah. You have no reason whatsoever to feel any guilt. You did all that you could to help her. Molly will live on in your heart, where she will always be loved and safe and secure. You both were blessed to have had each other's love in your lives. My sincerest condolences on your loss. My heart goes out to you.
|
|
|
|
Post by Pauliana on Aug 26, 2013 20:33:40 GMT -7
Very much feel for you Sarah and I pray in time that the grief will turn to comforting memories of your beloved Molly. She wouldn't want you to feel any guilt at all because she knows you did all you could to help her. Take good care of yourself and Ramsay and help each other heal..
Many hugs!
|
|
|
|
Post by June & Cookie on Aug 26, 2013 20:38:12 GMT -7
Sarah, I am so very sorry to hear about Molly. You did the best you could by her, and she knew she was loved and her end was loving and peaceful.
I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling, even under the best of circumstances, our canine friends are with us too short a time. Their hearts are so big, that their love stays with us for a lifetime. You will see her again at the bridge--and she will be whole there.
*hugs*
June and Cookie
|
|
|
|
Post by Stevie & Cleopatra on Aug 26, 2013 22:20:48 GMT -7
I am so sorry for your devastating loss. Molly was lucky to have such a great mom, you did the right thing. Your description of her peaceful passing in the sunlight is so touching. I know that the loss is overwhelming, but you gave Molly the only thing that these precious creatures want from us - unconditional love. My thoughts are with you.
|
|
|
|
Post by Nancy & Polly on Aug 27, 2013 18:47:09 GMT -7
I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. (((hugs)))
|
|
StevieLuv
Helpful Member
Conservative Treatment 3x. It really does work!
Posts: 1,335
|
Post by StevieLuv on Aug 29, 2013 11:28:14 GMT -7
Sarah, I am so very, very sorry that Molly had to leave you. You fought a hard and brave battle, and now it is time to rest. You will meet again at the Bridge, where all are young and healed and free of pain. She left this world knowing that she was always safe in your hands. (((hugs)))
|
|
Sarah
New Member
Second day after surgery. Currently recovering at UC Davis.
Posts: 18
|
Post by Sarah on Aug 30, 2013 15:57:30 GMT -7
Thank you all for your kind support. I had the horrible duty of picking out an urn for her, which was very upsetting. The thought of her ashes in a box makes me want to throw up. The urn options are so cheesy. Ugh. I am going to try and find something special on Etsy or Ebay--maybe a beautiful vintage box or something that I can get engraved with her name. THen I have to think about where i'm going to KEEP this box. I don't think I can stand to look at it. |
|
Sabrina
Helpful Member
My Charley-dog, a Dodger'sList grad enjoying life!
Posts: 471
|
Post by Sabrina on Aug 30, 2013 16:18:46 GMT -7
That must have been so hard for you. If having an urn/box around would make you sad, there is no reason you "have to". Maybe take some time and think about if you would rather scatter her ashes at some beautiful, peaceful spot. Or did the cremation service have an option for them to bury the ashes? There is no "right" answer in all this, so don't feel like you have to do something that will cause you more pain.
Maybe get a large print of a special picture of Molly to display, if not now then down the road when it would bring you joy and happy memories.
))Hugs!((
-Sabrina
|
|
Marjorie
Moderator~
Member since 2011. Surgery & Conservative
Posts: 5,724
|
Post by Marjorie on Aug 30, 2013 17:03:48 GMT -7
Dear Sarah,
There are many ways to commemorate the loss of Molly and I'm sure as time goes on, you'll find something that you feel will express your love for her in a special way. Whether it be donating to an animal rescue in Molly's name or writing an online memorial about her, you'll figure it out. Your grief is so new and you need time to absorb your loss first. As for her ashes, Molly isn't in those ashes, she's in your heart and mind. There are a lot of places where you can find pet ash memorial stones that you can put in your garden or you can even have a piece of jewelry containing some of her ashes designed. You'll figure it out one day. For now, just put those ashes away until your heart heals.
I pray that each day, your hurt will be less and your memories will be happier ones.
All the best to you.
|
|
|
|
Post by chewyismylove on Sept 14, 2013 14:05:44 GMT -7
I am so sorry to hear of your sweet Molly's passing. I lost my Chewy to the same on March 7 of this year. There is nothing anyone can say that will make you feel better or help you make sense of what has happened. It doesn't make sense. A simple jump off of the furniture, or an innocent routine fight during playtime.....can unfortunately cause this. Makes no sense whatsoever. Now, I tell everyone about IVDD and what they need to do to prevent things like this because no one EVER told me.......
|
|
Molly was barely present at that point, so she just gently went to sleep. 
